"You live but once, you might as well be amusing"

"Fashion changes -- style remains"

"Leap and the net will appear"

"Beauty fades but dumb is forever"

"The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind" Jerry Hall

"Any woman who can't say a four-letter word sometimes is deceitful"

"Find paradise where you are"

"To thine own self be true"

"A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that doesn't mean she can't have fun with all the wrong ones."

"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby"

"A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition"

"Men who help with laundry have better sex lives"

"When three women join together,
the stars come out in broad daylight"

"We must overcome the notion that we must be regular. It robs you of your chance to be extraordinary."

"The shortest distance between two people is a laugh."

"It's not the destination that matters, but the journey."

Modern twist on Carpe Diem:
"Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart."

"Nothing worthwhile comes easily."

"Supposing you have tried and failed again and again.
You may have a fresh start any moment you choose,
for this thing that we call failure is not the falling down,
but the staying down."

"Stumbling blocks or stepping stones; it is all in how you choose to use them."

"It is not the Critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled or how the doer of deeds might have done them better. The credit belongs to the man (woman!) who is actually in the arena."

Old Russian Wives Tale
If you want to be happy for two days... get roaring drunk
If you want to be happy for two years... have an affair.
For 10 years... get married.
Happy Forever... make 100 friends

"Live life so there's standing room only at your funeral."

"Today's TV shows will be reruns, your life won't."

• When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better.
• A hard man... is good to find
• It's not the men in my life that counts -- it's the life in my men.
• He who hesitates is last.
• I go for two kinds of men. The kind with muscles, and the kind without.
• So many men... so little time
• Too much of a good thing... can be wonderful
• Why don't you come on up and see me sometime.. when I've got nothin' on but the radio.
• I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
• A man in love is like a clipped coupon -- it's time to cash in.
• A man in the house... is worth two in the street
• Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
• It's better to be looked over, than overlooked
• Give a man a free hand... and he'll run it all over you
• Good sex is like good Bridge... If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand
• To err is human -- but it feels divine
• His mother should have thrown him away...and kept the stork
• I don't like myself, I'm crazy about myself.
• "Goodness, what beautiful diamonds !" Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie
• I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported
• When a girl goes wrong, men go right... after her
• I'm the lady who works at Paramount all day... and Fox all night.
• Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
• I used to be Snow White... but I drifted
• Save a boyfriend for a rainy day, and another, in case it doesn't rain
• I've been rich and I've been poor... Believe me, rich is better
• It's hard to be funny...when you have to be "clean"
• I like my clothes to be tight enough to show I'm a woman... but loose enough to show I'm a lady.
• She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success... wrong by wrong
• You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction... but the second meeting shows up new angles
• You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.
• Those who are easily shocked... should be shocked more often
• When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
• You ought to get out of those wet clothes... and into a dry martini
• He who hesitates is a damned fool.
• You're never too old to become younger.

"Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies. " -- Unknown

"The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. " -- Helen Hayes (at 73)

"I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. " -- Janette Barber

"A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. " -- Carrie Snow

"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. " -- Laurie Kuslansky

"Old age ain't no place for sissies. " -- Bette Davis

"The phrase 'working mother' is redundant. " -- Jane Sellman

"Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows. " -- Jennifer Unlimited

"Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. " -- Charlotte Whitton

"Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart." -- Caryn Leschen

"I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once. " -- Jennifer Unlimited

"If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. " -- Catherine

"When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow! " -- Kathy Buckley

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and I'm also not blonde. " -- Dolly Parton

"If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. " -- Sue Grafton

"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. " -- Roseanne Barr

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. " -- Elayne Boosler

"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. " -- Maryon Pearson

"In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. " -- Margaret Thatcher

"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." -- Gloria Steinem

"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. " -- Zsa Zsa Gabor

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. " -- Eleanor Roosevelt